one day at a time

I've always had questions about "what it all means", and at one point in time, this was compounded with the whole idea of getting reacquainted with who I was with the "one half of a couple" tag having been recently ripped off. I was in search of something inspiring to watch/read. And just then, I had the good fortune of stumbling upon this book - A Year of Doing Good by Judith O'Reilly. This book seemed to be one woman's attempt to answer a couple of questions I've often thrown at my Mum since I was a child.

Do the little "good" things we do even make a difference?

How do you even know the people receiving the good deed even think you're helping them? Maybe they're just humouring you?

Why do we even bother?

I have to admit that as I read the book, I initially scoffed at the things that were counted as good deeds - could something so small (and yet so troublesome to the individual trying to do the good deed) really be worth it?

So, I decided to give it a try myself - a conscious effort to throw in a good deed here and there.

It's been more than 365 days since I first picked up the book (and some months since I've finished reading it, too). And I think I've found the best answer to my questions to date. 

Do the very small everyday "good" things we do even make a difference?

I like to think so now. 

Example: I used to be pretty indifferent about little things like opening doors for others, or just giving a damn about a passing stranger. And in my experience, that was the attitude of pretty much everyone else. Since being inspired to experiment with everyday doing good, a particular set of heavy doors I encounter day to day sets the scene for many a good deed of mine. Holding the door open for the old man wheeling his wife in on a wheelchair, or the young mother who's got her hands full trying to manage her young child and push the baby in a stroller. 

Then there was a time when someone did the same for me when my hands were particularly full. 

Doesn't quite end all the big problems of the world. But at least in my little piece of the world, I'm bringing sexy courtesy back.

Are people just humouring you when you're trying to do something nice for them? Trying being the operative word here.

Sometimes. But then the bigger question is, does it matter that they're just humouring you? I know it makes me feel good when I know someone even tries to do something nice for me.

And also when I run out of pink Panadols, it's a no brainer that handing me one is a definite good deed - no humouring required. 

Why do we even bother?/Is it worth the trouble?

I've since realised that the fact that we bother to do anything is because there's something in it for ourselves. Even if that something is just the satisfaction of being a nice person. So there. 

Is it worth the trouble? Well... I'm still selfish old me, and I've never really had a problem saying no to anyone. So I don't actually do anything that I find too much. So it's just a matter of what your threshold for troublesome is, and sticking to it?

I'm not sure if I'm a better person for it. But I know it's made me feel better about myself.

So, more good deeds to follow!