We're barely over the Chinese New Year festivities, and Valentine's day is almost here!
Whilst I'm happily stamping hearts on cards (erm...let's see if I'll finally get round to posting pics of them!), here's a bit of reflection on a year of being single.
Before one starts to enjoy being single again, and possibly no longer defining themselves as "going through a breakup", there's that crappy bit of actually trying to recover from feeling lost and heartbroken.
To get through that, here they are, my top 5 things to do to get over it and start enjoying yourself again.
#1 Set yourself a time limit
You need time to heal, right? But how much time? I know you're going to say "Jeez that wasn't very helpful", but really, my answer is that you'd probably know yourself a little better. Too short a time frame and you'll probably get frustrated with yourself wondering what's wrong with you and why you're not okay yet. Too long a time frame and suddenly you're that girl nobody wants to hang out with because it's been like forever since your breakup and you're still whining about it.
#2 Channel your attention to those who deserve it
In case you temporarily forgot (which is understandable, and somewhat forgivable), there are still so many people in your life whom you love and who love you back. I'm talking about family and friends who have just
been there for you all the time, and are probably the ones listening to all your "love is crap" tirades now. Didn't have as much time or energy as you would have liked left over for them whilst in a relationship? Well, here's your chance!
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| When friends make sure you're not sitting at home, alone, possibly crying into the ice cream tub you've just polished off. |
#3 Rediscover the things you enjoyed doing - but didn't really fit into your routine as a couple
You had your own interests and filled your time with your own stuff before you became one half of a couple. Sure, whilst together, you made sure you did the whole
"have your own thing so you are both still interesting to each other" thing recommended by women's magazines everywhere. But as much as you hate to admit it, you did change a little to accommodate the relationship.
Now celebrate the fact that you don't have to accommodate anyone's crap anymore. At least for a while, until you find someone worth the effort.
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Back to the orchestra!
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#4 Get out there and do a whole bunch of new stuff
Not really sure if all couples are as guilty of this as I was - "We should try that sometime" was a phrase Voldermort* and I used so often, but never really got round to doing much. Probably because half the things on the list I wanted to do but he wasn't so keen on, and vice versa. So now that it's just
your list of things you want to try, go ahead and get cracking! Grab your buddies who might also be interested, or you know, go by yourself. Whatever you prefer, just get out there and do it!
*In the early days, obviously I was going on and on and on and on...about well...you know., but it still felt a little weird to say his name. So eventually in conversations with friends, it went from "you know...him!" to "he who must not be named" to...well...Voldermort for short. So let's just keep calling him that, shall we?
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| Sure, let's go wall climbing even when I can't even look over stair railings for fear of fainting. |
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| Taking up a new hobby, preferably one that involves learning a new skill helps. Nevermind if it never really comes to be anything useful. At the end of it, you feel like you're an even awesomer and more interesting person than before. Or maybe that's just me. |
#5 Check in with yourself every now and again
Take some time to ask yourself how you're doing every once in awhile.
Are you a little less over it than you thought you would be by now? Why is that?
Or maybe you're going a little too far to try and prove to yourself you're fabulous.
Or, as I discovered several months before my self-imposed due date, maybe you're doing better than you thought you would.
Whatever the case, don't ever stop trying to be a better person. Even after you've found someone new.
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| some inspiration from Pinterest |
